it really hurts???


10 years might be a long time to forget about something but not something that leave a big scar in your heart. Someone that you thought will be by your side leave you and forget about you.

Jongwoon oppa,

I hate you for leaving me alone, I hate you for make my heart hurt, I hate you for make me missing you, I hate you for break your promised but I hate myself more for loving you.


I’m sorry for leaving you alone, I’m sorry for make your heart hurt, I’m sorry for make you missing me, I’m sorry for break my promised and I’m sorry for loving you. I never want to forget you.

Maybe fate was play with us.

Maybe love is not really hurts...

Chapter 1

“Sujin, what are doing here? I thought you are on vacation.” I smile looking at hee soo face. She so shock to see me at her shop today. “I just don’t have mood to join my family to go on vacation. You know they don’t need me to be there.” Hee soo face changed when she here my words.

“You should not think like that. They love you.” I can see how hee soo face changed. I know that she feel sorry for me. I don’t like when she show me that face. She should know my condition after being my best friend for a long time.

“Hee soo you know my family right? They never care about me. My parents adopt me because they think they can’t get a child. After they got their own child, they never care about me. They just give me a place to live and something to eat. They never give me love.” Suddenly I feel so lonely. During this time, the old memories start to play in my mind. Oppa, where are? Why must you leave me?

“Sujin, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you sad.” I look at her face. I know she really mean what she says. She is my good friend. She knows everything about me and she is the only person that I trust.

“It’s ok hee soo. Sometimes I do feel sad, but when I think again maybe I should be grateful that they adopt me. My life at the orphanage was so hard after jongwoon oppa leave me.” I feel so sad to think about him again. I never understand why he leaves me without any news. Nobody knows where he goes and what actually happen to him. However I kept blame him for break his promised. He promise to protect me forever but he leave me alone without mention anything.

“Why you keep thinking about him sujin? Ithas been 10 years. What make him so important to you?” Hee soo get angry every time I mention about jongwoon oppa. She feels that I should go on with my life and forget about him. I understand her intentions, but I can’t. Without jongwoon oppa, I won’t be in this world right now. He is my guardian angel. He is the person that saves me when I drown at the river behind the orphanage. He risks his life for me, he protects me when other kid bullies me and he always makes me happy. Although I hate him for leaving me, I can’t stop myself from thinking and loves him.

“Sujin, please forget about him. I don’t like when you sad. You deserve to be happy and you should go on with your life.” At that moment someone enter hee soo shop and her faces change and she look like she sees a ghost. “Hee soo what happen. Why you look so shock?”

“Sujin, I feel like dreaming. I can’t believe my eyes. That guy, don’t you know him?” I look at the guy that enters hee soo shop. He is really handsome and everything about him looks perfect but there is something about him that makes me nervous.

“Who’s that?” I quickly asked hee soo. That guy really caught my attention. It is not because his appearance but because I have a strong feeling about him. He makes me remember about jongwoon oppa. “Omo, sujin I can’t believe you. Are sure you don’t know about him? He is so popular and a lot of girl willing to do anything just to see him.” Hee soo can’t blame me if I don’t know him since I rarely watch television. I prefer do part time job then wasting my time in front the television.

“Hee soo, you know me right? I’m not kind of person that watches television and please don’t show ‘I don’t believe you’ face in front of me. I really don’t have idea who he is.” I’m sure hee soo just to shock to remember the fact that rarely watch television but I don’t care about that right now. I just want to know more about that guy.

“I can’t believe that at last you are interested in guy. By the way, he is yesung. He is a popular singer and he is my favourite. Can you wait for a while? I will come back later.” I can see a big smile in hee soo face. Hee soo looks so excited and I just look at her from the counter. Suddenly, yesung looks at my direction and smile. I feel like my heart stop beating. Those eyes really make me remember about him. It can’t be true, he is not jongwoon oppa.

“Excuse me.” I feel so shocked since I don’t realise when he come near me. “Your friends get important phone call and go out. She asks me to pay here.” I look around the shop and can’t find hee soo. “Can I ask you something? Have we met before?” I can’t believe I ask him that question. It just comes out from my mouth. Jongwoon oppa is it really you??

to be continue.....

busy life

I'm so busy lately because my lecturer seems so excited to give me assignments.
It's seems like no tomorrow for them since this semester is short because there is a lot of holiday.
This really makes me feel so stress. During this time, I will listen to suju and dbsk song and sometimes I look back at anbi video...I really miss them.

My favourite song

My favourite song was Love is really hurts that is Tazza ost. The song was sang by Yesung(superjunior). He is my favourite member in super junior and I totally in love with his voice. I want to share this song with you all and hope you will also like it.


After their second album, super junior was divided to subgroup to perform in korea,china and japan. My favourite subgroup was super junior H that famous in korea with their song cooking cooking and pajama party. I'm so happy because all suju member will be together again in their third album that will release this march. I'm sure all ELF will anticipate this album after their second album U.


Hi!!! Welcome to my blog. I will share all my thought and my hobby with you all. Feel free to join me...